ᴛhᴇ wᴏʀsᴛ sᴇᴍlɪng fᴏʀᴛnɪᴛᴇ sᴋɪn: a caᴜᴛɪᴏnaʀʏ ᴛalᴇ
ʙᴇwaʀᴇ, fᴇllᴏw gaᴍᴇʀs! ɪ spᴇaᴋ wɪᴛh ʀᴇgʀᴇᴛ ᴏf ᴛhᴇ aʙʏsᴍal sᴇᴍlɪng sᴋɪn, a ʀᴇgʀᴇᴛᴛaʙlᴇ chᴏɪcᴇ ᴛhaᴛ haᴜnᴛs ᴍᴇ sᴛɪll. ɪᴛs dᴇsɪgn, an ᴜnɪnspɪʀᴇd paᴛchwᴏʀᴋ ᴏf cᴏlᴏʀs, ᴏffᴇʀs nᴏ ᴛacᴛɪcal adᴠanᴛagᴇ and clashᴇs wɪᴛh ᴛhᴇ ᴠɪʙʀanᴛ landscapᴇs ᴏf fᴏʀᴛnɪᴛᴇ. fᴜʀᴛhᴇʀᴍᴏʀᴇ, ɪᴛs ʀaʀɪᴛʏ ʙᴇlɪᴇs ɪᴛs sᴜʙsᴛandaʀd appᴇaʀancᴇ, lᴏcᴋɪng ɪᴛ ʙᴇhɪnd an aʀdᴜᴏᴜs gʀɪnd. ᴛʀᴜsᴛ ᴍᴇ, ᴛhᴇ paᴛh ᴛᴏ ᴏwnɪng ᴛhɪs sᴋɪn lᴇads nᴏᴛ ᴛᴏ glᴏʀʏ, ʙᴜᴛ ᴛᴏ wasᴛᴇd ᴛɪᴍᴇ and shaᴛᴛᴇʀᴇd hᴏpᴇs. lᴇᴛ ᴍʏ ᴍɪsfᴏʀᴛᴜnᴇ sᴇʀᴠᴇ as a waʀnɪng, and ᴍaʏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴍaᴋᴇ wɪsᴇʀ waʀdʀᴏʙᴇ chᴏɪcᴇs ᴏn ʏᴏᴜʀ fᴏʀᴛnɪᴛᴇ ᴊᴏᴜʀnᴇʏ.
